Main aisa kyun hoon?

After a long time I am thinking . Not about the situation I am in. Not about the people who matter to me. Its not even about the big questions of my life. NO! It's just about "ME". I am just responding to a stimulus. Its not that I never thought about myself (Infact, I attended the Process Lab just to do this). But now I understand that understanding yourself is much more difficult than understanding any other person.

As I have grew up/developed I have picked up many attributes and also I have left many. Some of them from the situations and the environment, some of them from the people with whom I have interacted. All these attributes form the layers of the personality. Every situation, every interaction, every change in the environment adds or removes a layer. But at the heart of these layers there is a core. The core which holds the true ME. I feel that whatever be the situation, no matter how the environment changes this core remains constant. Whenever I take a decision and this core is involved in that I think I have the peace of mind. I am sure of what I am doing. I feel that I am in control. And whenever this core is not involved and only the layers of personality play the part I falter or I do a mistake. And how do I know that? The core. It tells me that I have done a mistake. So the simple thing is, if I want to understand myself, I need to understand this core inside the various layers. I need to know what this core is made up of? I need to know what this core contains? I need to carefully differentiate between the core and the outer layers. The better I identify with this core the better I will be able to understand myself.